Improve Your Relationship with the B.L.I.S.S. Method

Author: Cheri Timko

Posted On February 23, 2022

You want an extraordinary marriage. You’re tired of being parked in neutral with your partner. You’ve tried to distract yourself with other projects. But there comes a point when this relationship has to step up to the plate. It needs to be more than an old ratty sweatshirt. If not a fancy new outfit, it at least needs to be a brand new, super-soft sweatshirt.

You love your partner in that passive sort of way that married couples do. You like the life that you have created together, but there are some problems in it. Spots that the two of you never quite ironed out. You sometimes wonder what your life would be like if you cleaned up those rough areas. True love is more than just sharing a house and a life.

You worry that trying to fix things could make your relationship worse. And you know that your partner worries, too. You both value that your relationship is stable. Even if it could be better, you see that it is good enough. And shouldn’t that be enough? Is it greedy to want more?

The problem is how you feel when you can’t sleep. You stay awake long after everyone has gone to bed watching Netflix. It’s only then that you feel like you get to be a person with needs and wants. That’s when you let yourself feel the aching loneliness. It’s when you acknowledge the longing in your heart. You want to feel grateful for what you have, and you are, but…..

It’s hard to admit this to yourself. You only talk about it on the super rare occasion that you have dinner with friends and you drink a little bit too much. Sometimes you avoid Facebook because the pictures of happy couples are too much.

What if there were a way to keep what you have and get what you want? What if you could change things without being disrupting causing arguments?

The B.L.I.S.S. Method is a gentle shifting of the relationship. It focuses on small, intentional, thoughtful changes that are manageable. It guides you to add helpful tools and strategies that are tailored to your relationship. Not cookie cutter solutions to make you conform to how it “should” be. This is about creating a relationship that reflects who you each really are. It’s about having a deeply satisfying relationship.

You don’t even need your partner’s participation to change things. The B.L.I.S.S. method allows you:

Even the most reluctant spouse will join in as they see the benefits.

This isn’t about creating more work for you. That’s the last thing you need. Instead, it’s about shifting how you use your energy. Many women end up doing less work because they stop doing jobs that are not their responsibility.

The B.L.I.S.S. Method

The B.L.I.S.S. Method will help you organize your efforts so you don’t waste time or energy where you won’t make an impact. You will make small changes that add up to a huge transformation over time.

B: Best self

Bring your best self to your relationship. Remember who you were when you were your own person. Explore who you want to be now. Bring growth, nurturing, rest, enjoyment, passion, and contentment back to your life.

L: Like/love factor

You fell in love with your partner because they had a lot of good qualities. You committed to this relationship because no one else would do—it had to be him. When you focus on your partner's good qualities and the strengths of the relationship, you will renew the deep love and connection that brought you together.

I: Invitation

Work on your relationship from a position of invitation. When you invite your partner to join you, it shifts the way they respond. Instead, you will relate to each other as companions building a meaningful life together. Learn to shift how you interact so you come from a position of grounding and strength. 

S: Show Up

It’s amazing how your relationship will shift when you bring good skills to situations. Often, people can use good relationship tools in other settings but they struggle to use with their spouse. We’ll look at where you are and how to gently shift situations using skillful tools.

S: Safeguard

When you and your spouse live well together, you have built something truly amazing. At it’s best, your relationship is the intersection of who each of you are. It is unlike anyone else’s relationship. When you have this, you want to protect it. Creating more safety in the relationship allows it continue to grow and deepen over the years as you live out your “happily ever after.”

Keep your life, but be you AND be happy.

You will:

Don’t wait. Claim your best life today.