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Blog posts - Synergy Coaching

Blog posts - Synergy Coaching

Cheri Timko - Couples Relationship Coach
How You Will Tank Your Next Conversation Before It Even Begins

Why Your Husband Lets You Do All of the Work and How to Fix It

Posted On July 1, 2022 | By Cheri Timko

Your husband thinks that you do more for the family because you want and like to do it. This might surprise and confuse you. You have told them often enough that you need help.

How You Will Tank Your Next Conversation Before It Even Begins

How You Will Tank Your Next Conversation Before It Even Begins

Posted On June 24, 2022 | By Cheri Timko

A harsh start is when you toss a problem into a conversation like a grenade.  You throw it in there hoping your partner will hear it as a plea for help.   

Alternative Ways to Connect with Your Partner that Don't Use Words

Alternative Ways to Connect with Your Partner that Don't Use Words

Posted On May 27, 2022 | By Cheri Timko

Did you know that there is a formula for having a close and connected marriage? The magic numbers are 5:1. John Gottman's research on couples gives us the best insight on how couples can have a great relationship.

Stop Relationship Transition Troubles in their Tracks

5 Lessons Learned from My First Marriage

Posted On May 13, 2022 | By Cheri Timko

I married my college sweetheart. We went to high school together. When I was 17 years old, we fell head over heels in love. We dated through college.

Stop Relationship Transition Troubles in their Tracks

4 Tips to Let Go of Toxic Resentment in Your Marriage

Posted On May 6, 2022 | By Cheri Timko

It doesn't take long for the newness of a relationship to wear off. It's intoxicating to be in that part of the brand new relationship when you are both on your best behavior. You feel in-sync and its easy to have fun.

Stop Relationship Transition Troubles in their Tracks

Stop Relationship Transition Troubles in their Tracks

Posted On April 22, 2022 | By Cheri Timko

For two years, my husband worked out of state. We had three small children at the time, and it was our priority to limit their time in childcare. 

Doorway Intentions: Getting What You Long For

Doorway Intentions: Getting What You Long For

Posted On April 13, 2022 | By Cheri Timko

Doors or wheels? Which do you think there are more of? It’s fun to debate because there are so many of each in our world. Both represent basic technology whose invention changed the world.

Micro-Moments: How to be Lazy in Your Relationship

Micro-Moments: How to be Lazy in Your Relationship

Posted On March 25, 2022 | By Cheri Timko

In my heart, I am one of the laziest people you will meet. If you know me in IRL, don’t turn away just yet. I’m also a perfectionist with very high standards. Trust me, these fit together.

Should I forgive my Spouse?

Should I Forgive My Spouse?

Posted On March 11, 2022 | By Cheri Timko

“He wasn’t there for me!!!” "She had an affair!!!" "I was scared in our argument!!!" "I told them in confidence and they repeated it!!!"  

10 Tips to Getting on the Same Parenting Page with Your Spouse

10 Tips to Getting on the Same Parenting Page with Your Spouse

Posted On March 4, 2022 | By Cheri Timko

Parenting is a hard job. There are endless decisions to make.  As a parent, you are busy doing the work that makes your life function. Your kids are watching everything that you do. 

Claim Your Best Relationship and Life with the B.L.I.S.S. Method

Claim Your Best Relationship and Life with the B.L.I.S.S. Method

Posted On February 25, 2022 | By Cheri Timko

“Mom, you guys have been bickering all day!”  My teen daughter’s complaint got my attention. Our family had just returned home after a long day in the car. I thought it went well enough. 

Improve Your Relationship with the B.L.I.S.S. Method

Improve Your Relationship with the B.L.I.S.S. Method

Posted On February 23, 2022 | By Cheri Timko

You want an extraordinary marriage. You’re tired of being parked in neutral with your partner. You’ve tried to distract yourself with other projects. But there comes a point when this relationship has to step up to the plate. 

Everyday Joy

Everyday Joy

Posted On February 11, 2022 | By Cheri Timko

“I’m sorry that you were having a rough day last week.” My friend’s comment caught me off-guard. I blinked at her, trying to figure out what and when she was talking about.

The Power of 'Yes' on Your Relationship

The Power of "Yes" on Your Relationship

Posted On February 4, 2022 | By Cheri Timko

Your brain is finetuned to see the thing that doesn't belong. Once you see it, you want to communicate it to those around you and have them fix it. Your intention is to improve your life and your relationship. Otherwise, you would not bother to say anything.

7 Essential Tips to Talk so Your Partner Will Listen

7 Essential Tips to Talk so Your Partner Will Listen

Posted On January 21, 2022 | By Cheri Timko

When I get fired up, I am passionate. My enthusiasm can knock the other person over. I can talk about that topic for a LONG time without running out of steam. If I am excited (and not mad), it eventually occurs to me that I am hogging the conversation.

How Do I Forgive My Spouse? Why Can’t I Get Over This? Part 3: Ways to Get Closure

How Do I Forgive My Spouse? Why Can’t I Get Over This? Part 3: Ways to Get Closure

Posted On January 17, 2022 | By Cheri Timko

Moving forward in your relationship after a deep hurt is one of the bravest things that you can do. It is an act of faith in yourself and your partner. To stay in the relationship, you must accept that your partner can hurt you, but believe that they won’t.

Specialized Roles in Your Relationship

Specialized Roles in Your Relationship

Posted On January 7, 2022 | By Cheri Timko

It takes a lot of work to have a family. Even without kids, usually, there are many aspects of life that have to be managed. Most couples share the work using some level of specialization. You manage some of the work while your partner handles other tasks. Dividing the work is one of the benefits of being in a relationship.

How Do I Forgive My Spouse? Why Can’t I Get Over This? Part 2

How Do I Forgive My Spouse? Why Can’t I Get Over This? (Part 2)

Posted On December 17, 2021 | By Cheri Timko

You remember every detail of that moment. It represents the change from Before and After. You know that Before you would sometimes get a sinking feeling in your stomach. But you couldn’t figure out exactly what was wrong. You just had a vague sense of something being off.

How Do I Forgive My Spouse? Why Can’t I Get Over This? Part 1

How Do I Forgive My Spouse? Why Can’t I Get Over This? (Part 1)

Posted On December 15, 2021 | By Cheri Timko

The first time your partner let you down, it came as a surprise. You had been together for a while, and things were going so well. You kept telling yourself that things wouldn’t always be this good. Yet, it still came as a surprise when it happened.  

5 Mindset Shifts That Will Improve Your Marriage

5 Mindset Shifts That Will Improve your Marriage

Posted On November 26, 2021 | By Cheri Timko

Wouldn’t it be nice if you could just decide to have a good marriage? You could wake up and declare that today would be a good day. Then, you and your spouse would automatically be on your best behavior.

But I Told My Spouse What I Need! Why Won't They Do It?

But I Told My Spouse What I Need! Why Won’t They Do It?

Posted On November 26, 2021 | By Cheri Timko

If you have had any contact with the personal growth industry, you have heard some form of this advice: “Figure out what you need from your partner and clearly communicate those needs.”

8 Smart Tips to Grow Together in your Marriage

8 Smart Tips to “Grow Together” in Your Marriage

Posted On November 19, 2021 | By Cheri Timko

When couples get married, they imagine what it will be like to grow old together. It is an ideal to live up to. But, how do you improve your odds?

Yearly Conversations Every Couple Needs to Have

Yearly Conversations Every Couple Needs to Have

Posted On November 05, 2021 | By Cheri Timko

Talking is one of the most powerful tools you have in your relationship. Regular discussions ensure that your relationship will continue to grow over time. There are other ways of relating to one another, but talking is the best for collaboration and coordination.

Weaponized Incompetence

Weaponized Incompetence

Posted On October 22, 2021 | By Cheri Timko

You need help. It’s hard for you to ask for help but you do it. You are clear about what needs to be done and why. You trust your spouse. So, you hand the task off. Later, you check on the progress and feel dismayed and disappointed to realize that they left a disaster.

5 Reasons You Don’t Prioritize Conversations With Your Spouse

5 Reasons You Don’t Prioritize Conversations With Your Spouse

Posted On October 15, 2021 | By Cheri Timko

You searched long and hard for your spouse. Once you found them, you want the relationship to stay strong through whatever life throws at you. You believe that being together makes your lives better. You have a built in, guaranteed support system. 

Success With At-Home Date Nights

Success With At-Home Date Nights

Posted On October 7, 2021 | By Cheri Timko

After we commit to our relationships, most couples stop spending much time together. After all, we are all busy with jobs, kids, family responsibilities, and hobbies. The typical couple spends an average of 2 1/2 hours together a day. However, they don't spend a lot of that time engaging with one another.

Entrepreneurship and Marriage: How to Have it All

Entrepreneurship and Marriage: How to Have it All

Posted On September 24, 2021 | By Cheri Timko

Running your own business can be a great alternative to having a traditional job. It can give you tremendous personal freedom. It also can feel stifling and overwhelming. Hard or easy, being an entrepreneur creates unique challenges for your relationship.

You Messed Up in your Relationship? Tips to Recover

You Messed Up in your Relationship? Tips to Recover

Posted On September 10, 2021 | By Cheri Timko

When we imagine true love, we generally think of uninterrupted bliss. Of being with someone who knows us completely, inside and out. Of soul mates. This is an aspect of true love. True love also includes heart break, disappointment, sadness, and loneliness. These are inevitable and expected. 

5 Tips to Surviving Your Partner’s Recovery

5 Tips to Surviving Your Partner’s Recovery

Posted On August 30, 2021 | By Cheri Timko

When a partner is in recovery as part of their addiction, you might feel disconnected from them. In a lot of ways, they have a whole separate life. They have meetings with people you don’t know. And there are parts of the treatment that they can’t talk about.

How To Evaluate Your Relationship or Marriage

How To Evaluate Your Relationship or Marriage

Posted On August 24, 2021 | By Cheri Timko

You want a fulfilling and satisfying relationship. Otherwise, what's the point of being in a relationship. Or, at least, you did before the marriage doldrums set in. You know, where you became complacent and accepted that this is as good as it gets.

Feeling Lonely and Disconnected From Your Partner?

Feeling Lonely and Disconnected From Your Partner?

Posted On July 23, 2021 | By Cheri Timko

Your partner asks how your day was but didn’t seem to care about the answer. You were looking forward to spending time with your partner but they didn’t seem to care either way.

Get Your Marriage Back on Track

Get Your Marriage Back on Track

Posted On May 26, 2021 | By Cheri Timko

The Pandemic was stressful. For EVERYONE. Really, no one was spared from some difficulty. Yet, what we each faced was a unique experience. There was no universal set of circumstances. In fact, many of us experienced opposite effects. Some of us were hard hit financially, while others did better than usual. 

Affair Recovery: What is Trust?

Affair Recovery: What is Trust?

Posted On May 14, 2021 | By Cheri Timko

“If my girlfriend/boyfriend/husband/wife/lover ever cheated on me, I would be gone so fast!!!” I have heard some variety of this statement so many times. Having sat with many couples as they worked through affair recovery, what I think they mean to say is: “Don’t cheat on me. EVER! I mean it! It would totally destroy me and put me in an impossible situation."

Improve Your Relationship Without Your Partner's Help

Improve Your Relationship Without Your Partner's Help

Posted On May 07, 2021 | By Cheri Timko

When we picture our marriage, usually we imagine both partners being equally invested. Each person seeks out the other, says complimentary things, and does nice things to make the other person’s life better. In real life, that fairness often fades after the spark of newness wears off. Then we get to see who that person really is.

Relationship Habits

Relationship Habits

Posted On Apr 29, 2021 | By Cheri Timko

You meet that one special person. You fell in love. Everything feels special and intense and exciting and comfortable. You are the center of their world and they, yours. Then things shifted. Life came crowding in. You didn’t have as much time to do the fun things that brought you together. There was not as much time to talk or gaze lovingly into each other’s eyes.

Cheri Timko - Couples Relationship Coach

Hi, I'm Cheri!

I’m a couples relationship coach who helps people thrive in their long-term relationship. They are concerned that there is too much arguing, too many unresolved issues, and too little connection and joy in their relationship. They long for a close, harmonious, and intimate relationship. I teach them to fix the parts that aren't working well so they can enjoy the love they have for one another.