Synergy Coaching

Marriage in Jeopardy: 12 Signs Your Phone is to Blame (with Actionable Solutions)

Posted On May 26, 2023 | By Cheri Timko

Years ago, my husband got a Blackberry for work. I used to call it his "crackberry." Until I got my own smartphone. Looking back, his phone use didn't seem that bad.

Desire Discrepancy: Does it Spell Doom for Your Marriage?

Posted On May 4, 2023 | By Cheri Timko

According to Psychology today, a whopping 80% of couples struggle with desire discrepancy. That's when one partner wants sex more often than the other.

Reasons to Date Your Spouse (and excuses why you don't)

Posted On February 3, 2023 | By Cheri Timko

I've been working with couples for a long time. I've heard many versions of the same stories. And some of the strangest and challenging situations that stretch my imagination. 

Signs Your Marriage is Stuck in Roommate Syndrome

Posted On January 13, 2023 | By Cheri Timko

"Who is this person in my house? It's not the person who I married!" If you've been married for any length of time, you have thought this. 

Avoiding Conflict is Making Your Arguments Worse

Posted On December 2, 2022 | By Cheri Timko

Avoiding conflict is killing your relationship. It's making you feel lonely and misunderstood. It's killing off your sex life, too. Few people enjoy fighting with their spouse.

How to Keep the Spark Alive in a Relationship

Posted On November 29, 2022 | By Cheri Timko

I was so glad that no one could hear us! We were yelling at one another in the car on the ride home. Somewhere during our date, we started up an old argument. It seemed to come out of nowhere.

Why You Fight on Date Night

Posted On November 4, 2022 | By Cheri Timko

I was so glad that no one could hear us! We were yelling at one another in the car on the ride home. Somewhere during our date, we started up an old argument. It seemed to come out of nowhere.

Past Mistakes that Haunt You

Posted On Oct 28, 2022 | By Cheri Timko

I spend a lot of time playing mildly challenging games (think Candy Crush and Tetris). It's a great way for me to relax. It calms and focuses my ever-busy brain.

Signs Your Marriage is in Trouble

Posted On Oct 14, 2022 | By Cheri Timko

My husband and I celebrate over 20 years of marriage. We've relocated to a new state, built a house, homeschooled three kids, and survived a pandemic. Plus all of the typical family stuff.

Nothing to Talk About? Starting Conversations in Your Marriage

Posted On Oct 7, 2022 | By Cheri Timko

We've all seen couples who sit in silence when eating at a restaurant. They don't seem to have anything to say to each other anymore. Did they really say everything there is to say?

My Partner Refuses To Talk About Problems (How to Fix This)

Posted On Sept 9, 2022 | By Cheri Timko

You love your spouse, but they won't talk about the problems in your relationship.  You know that your lives could be better if you could just fix a few things.  

The Most Powerful (but overlooked) Tool Couples Can Use Rekindle Their Love (Part 3)

Posted On Sept 2, 2022 | By Cheri Timko

By now, you have heard about the benefits of appreciation. If you haven't yet, read Gratitude and Appreciation to Soften Relationship Irritation parts 1 & 2 or Google "benefits of appreciation."

A Marriage Expert's Advice to Know When Your Marriage is Heading for Crisis

Posted On Aug 26, 2022 | By Cheri Timko

When you walked down the aisle, you felt hopeful and optimistic. You saw a rosy future stretching before you. Even the things that worried you didn't seem that bad.

Rekindle the Love in Your Marriage (once and for all!)

Posted On Aug 19, 2022 | By Cheri Timko

One day last week, I was distracted when I got home from work. I was holding several bags and a child met me at the door with a problem. About 15 minutes later, I realized that I hadn't greeted my husband.

The Most Powerful (but overlooked) Tool Couples Can Use Rekindle Their Love (Part 2)

Posted On July 29, 2022 | By Cheri Timko

Want to rekindle the love in your marriage? One of the fastest ways to change the course is to practice gratitude and appreciation. The practice curbs frustration and irritability towards your spouse.

The Most Powerful (but overlooked) Tool Couples Can Use Rekindle Their Love Part 1

Posted On July 22, 2022 | By Cheri Timko

I'm sure you know that gratitude is great. But you probably aren't aware of its ability to transform your relationship. There are two powerful forces that undercut gratitude.

Why You Stay Up Too Late

Posted On July 15, 2022 | By Cheri Timko

Of course you stay up too late binge watching TV. You are an exhausted wife and mother. You don't mind sacrificing yourself for your kids. But your husband is another matter.

8 Signs Your Relationship Can Recover After An Affair

Posted On July 8, 2022 | By Cheri Timko

There are many types of crises that a marriage will experience. All of them test the strength of the relationship. Learning that your partner had an affair is one of the hardest to live through.

Why Your Husband Lets You Do All of the Work and How to Fix It

Posted On July 1, 2022 | By Cheri Timko

Your husband thinks that you do more for the family because you want and like to do it. This might surprise and confuse you. You have told them often enough that you need help.

How You Will Tank Your Next Conversation Before It Even Begins

Posted On June 24, 2022 | By Cheri Timko

A harsh start is when you toss a problem into a conversation like a grenade.  You throw it in there hoping your partner will hear it as a plea for help.   

Alternative Ways to Connect with Your Partner that Don't Use Words

Posted On May 27, 2022 | By Cheri Timko

Did you know that there is a formula for having a close and connected marriage? The magic numbers are 5:1. John Gottman's research on couples gives us the best insight on how couples can have a great relationship.

5 Lessons Learned from My First Marriage

Posted On May 13, 2022 | By Cheri Timko

I married my college sweetheart. We went to high school together. When I was 17 years old, we fell head over heels in love. We dated through college.

4 Tips to Let Go of Toxic Resentment in Your Marriage

Posted On May 6, 2022 | By Cheri Timko

It doesn't take long for the newness of a relationship to wear off. It's intoxicating to be in that part of the brand new relationship when you are both on your best behavior. You feel in-sync and its easy to have fun.

Stop Relationship Transition Troubles in their Tracks

Posted On April 22, 2022 | By Cheri Timko

For two years, my husband worked out of state. We had three small children at the time, and it was our priority to limit their time in childcare. 

Doorway Intentions: Getting What You Long For

Posted On April 13, 2022 | By Cheri Timko

Doors or wheels? Which do you think there are more of? It’s fun to debate because there are so many of each in our world. Both represent basic technology whose invention changed the world.

Micro-Moments: How to be Lazy in Your Relationship

Posted On March 25, 2022 | By Cheri Timko

In my heart, I am one of the laziest people you will meet. If you know me in IRL, don’t turn away just yet. I’m also a perfectionist with very high standards. Trust me, these fit together.

Should You Forgive Your Spouse?

Posted On March 11, 2022 | By Cheri Timko

“He wasn’t there for me!!!” "She had an affair!!!" "I was scared in our argument!!!" "I told them in confidence and they repeated it!!!"  

10 Tips to Getting on the Same Parenting Page with Your Spouse

Posted On March 4, 2022 | By Cheri Timko

Parenting is a hard job. There are endless decisions to make.  As a parent, you are busy doing the work that makes your life function. Your kids are watching everything that you do. 

Claim Your Best Relationship and Life with the B.L.I.S.S. Method

Posted On February 25, 2022 | By Cheri Timko

“Mom, you guys have been bickering all day!”  My teen daughter’s complaint got my attention. Our family had just returned home after a long day in the car. I thought it went well enough. 

Improve Your Relationship with the B.L.I.S.S. Method

Posted On February 23, 2022 | By Cheri Timko

You want an extraordinary marriage. You’re tired of being parked in neutral with your partner. You’ve tried to distract yourself with other projects. But there comes a point when this relationship has to step up to the plate. 

Everyday Joy

Posted On February 11, 2022 | By Cheri Timko

“I’m sorry that you were having a rough day last week.” My friend’s comment caught me off-guard. I blinked at her, trying to figure out what and when she was talking about.

The Power of "Yes" on Your Relationship

Posted On February 4, 2022 | By Cheri Timko

Your brain is finetuned to see the thing that doesn't belong. Once you see it, you want to communicate it to those around you and have them fix it. Your intention is to improve your life and your relationship. Otherwise, you would not bother to say anything.

7 Essential Tips to Talk so Your Partner Will Listen

Posted On January 21, 2022 | By Cheri Timko

When I get fired up, I am passionate. My enthusiasm can knock the other person over. I can talk about that topic for a LONG time without running out of steam. If I am excited (and not mad), it eventually occurs to me that I am hogging the conversation.

How Do I Forgive My Spouse? Why Can’t I Get Over This? Part 3: Ways to Get Closure

Posted On January 17, 2022 | By Cheri Timko

Moving forward in your relationship after a deep hurt is one of the bravest things that you can do. It is an act of faith in yourself and your partner. To stay in the relationship, you must accept that your partner can hurt you, but believe that they won’t.

Specialized Roles in a Relationship: Use them to your advantage

Posted On January 7, 2022 | By Cheri Timko

It takes a lot of work to have a family. Even without kids, usually, there are many aspects of life that have to be managed. Most couples share the work using some level of specialization. You manage some of the work while your partner handles other tasks. Dividing the work is one of the benefits of being in a relationship.

How Do I Forgive My Spouse? Why Can’t I Get Over This? (Part 2)

Posted On December 17, 2021 | By Cheri Timko

You remember every detail of that moment. It represents the change from Before and After. You know that Before you would sometimes get a sinking feeling in your stomach. But you couldn’t figure out exactly what was wrong. You just had a vague sense of something being off.

How Do I Forgive My Spouse? Why Can’t I Get Over This? (Part 1)

Posted On December 15, 2021 | By Cheri Timko

The first time your partner let you down, it came as a surprise. You had been together for a while, and things were going so well. You kept telling yourself that things wouldn’t always be this good. Yet, it still came as a surprise when it happened.  

5 Mindset Shifts That Will Improve your Marriage

Posted On November 26, 2021 | By Cheri Timko

Wouldn’t it be nice if you could just decide to have a good marriage? You could wake up and declare that today would be a good day. Then, you and your spouse would automatically be on your best behavior.

But I Told My Spouse What I Need! Why Won’t They Do It?

Posted On November 26, 2021 | By Cheri Timko

If you have had any contact with the personal growth industry, you have heard some form of this advice: “Figure out what you need from your partner and clearly communicate those needs.”

8 Smart Tips to “Grow Together” in Your Marriage

Posted On November 19, 2021 | By Cheri Timko

When couples get married, they imagine what it will be like to grow old together. It is an ideal to live up to. But, how do you improve your odds?

Yearly Conversations Every Couple Needs to Have

Posted On November 05, 2021 | By Cheri Timko

Talking is one of the most powerful tools you have in your relationship. Regular discussions ensure that your relationship will continue to grow over time. There are other ways of relating to one another, but talking is the best for collaboration and coordination.

Weaponized Incompetence

Posted On October 22, 2021 | By Cheri Timko

You need help. It’s hard for you to ask for help but you do it. You are clear about what needs to be done and why. You trust your spouse. So, you hand the task off. Later, you check on the progress and feel dismayed and disappointed to realize that they left a disaster.

5 Reasons You Don’t Prioritize Conversations With Your Spouse

Posted On October 15, 2021 | By Cheri Timko

You searched long and hard for your spouse. Once you found them, you want the relationship to stay strong through whatever life throws at you. You believe that being together makes your lives better. You have a built in, guaranteed support system. 

Success With At-Home Date Nights

Posted On October 7, 2021 | By Cheri Timko

After we commit to our relationships, most couples stop spending much time together. After all, we are all busy with jobs, kids, family responsibilities, and hobbies. The typical couple spends an average of 2 1/2 hours together a day. However, they don't spend a lot of that time engaging with one another.

Entrepreneurship and Marriage: How to Have it All

Posted On September 24, 2021 | By Cheri Timko

Running your own business can be a great alternative to having a traditional job. It can give you tremendous personal freedom. It also can feel stifling and overwhelming. Hard or easy, being an entrepreneur creates unique challenges for your relationship.

You Messed Up in Your Relationship: Tips to Recover

Posted On September 10, 2021 | By Cheri Timko

When we imagine true love, we generally think of uninterrupted bliss. Of being with someone who knows us completely, inside and out. Of soul mates. This is an aspect of true love. True love also includes heart break, disappointment, sadness, and loneliness. These are inevitable and expected. 

5 Tips to Surviving Your Partner’s Recovery

Posted On August 30, 2021 | By Cheri Timko

When a partner is in recovery as part of their addiction, you might feel disconnected from them. In a lot of ways, they have a whole separate life. They have meetings with people you don’t know. And there are parts of the treatment that they can’t talk about.

How To Evaluate Your Relationship or Marriage

Posted On August 24, 2021 | By Cheri Timko

You want a fulfilling and satisfying relationship. Otherwise, what's the point of being in a relationship. Or, at least, you did before the marriage doldrums set in. You know, where you became complacent and accepted that this is as good as it gets.

Feeling Lonely and Disconnected from Your Spouse

Posted On July 23, 2021 | By Cheri Timko

Your partner asks how your day was but didn’t seem to care about the answer. You were looking forward to spending time with your partner but they didn’t seem to care either way.

Get Your Marriage Back on Track

Posted On May 26, 2021 | By Cheri Timko

The Pandemic was stressful. For EVERYONE. Really, no one was spared from some difficulty. Yet, what we each faced was a unique experience. There was no universal set of circumstances. In fact, many of us experienced opposite effects. Some of us were hard hit financially, while others did better than usual. 

Affair Recovery: What is Trust?

Posted On May 14, 2021 | By Cheri Timko

“If my girlfriend/boyfriend/husband/wife/lover ever cheated on me, I would be gone so fast!!!” I have heard some variety of this statement so many times. Having sat with many couples as they worked through affair recovery, what I think they mean to say is: “Don’t cheat on me. EVER! I mean it! It would totally destroy me and put me in an impossible situation."

Improve Your Relationship Without Your Partner's Help

Posted On May 07, 2021 | By Cheri Timko

When we picture our marriage, usually we imagine both partners being equally invested. Each person seeks out the other, says complimentary things, and does nice things to make the other person’s life better. In real life, that fairness often fades after the spark of newness wears off. Then we get to see who that person really is.

Healthy Relationship Habits

Posted On Apr 29, 2021 | By Cheri Timko

You meet that one special person. You fell in love. Everything feels special and intense and exciting and comfortable. You are the center of their world and they, yours. Then things shifted. Life came crowding in. You didn’t have as much time to do the fun things that brought you together. There was not as much time to talk or gaze lovingly into each other’s eyes.