When a partner is in recovery as part of their addiction, you might feel disconnected from them. In a lot of ways, they have a whole separate life. They have meetings with people you don’t know. And there are parts of the treatment that they can’t talk about.
You feel happy that they are getting better. Their treatment gives you hope that your relationship will survive. But this also feels unfair. After all, you were the one who held everything together when they were in the depths of their addiction. They didn’t invest in you and your relationship before, and now they still aren’t.
There are some things that you can do.
Tips for Surviving Your Partner’s Recovery:
Recovery will be hard on both of you. When done well, you both experience it as a time of great personal and relationship growth. As you go through it, the growth will feel painful and stretching. Usually, it is only after you get to the other side that you will finally see the rewards of growing.
Do the best you can. It won’t be perfect, but it will be worth it.
Ask for help when you need it. Other people care about you and want good things for you.
Stay focused on the prize at the end. You are worth it. Your partner is worth it. And the relationship is worth it.
Need some quick wins in the relationship? Download this handout which outlines three easy-to-implement relationship habits you can start using immediately.
I’d love to hear the tips you would add to this list. Send me a quick email with the tips you found to be most helpful as you support your partner going through recovery.
Cheri Timko is the creator of Synergy Coaching, an online community helping committed couples have great relationships. Learn more about how to get involved in this movement of couples who don't just want to stay together but want to thrive together here.